Mr. Ping in Taiwan: beijing-a-ling (part 1)

i got to ride the speed train to beijing! 193 mph!

there's a ton to do in beijing. much more than i expected

church was a district conference of 4 branches. there were a couple hundred people. i was surprised there were that many

looks mormon,/communist

lots of americans moving to china. especially ex mormon missionaries who speak chinese

the chinese members meet separately. the government doesn't let them be in the building at the same time as the other members

there's some crazy stuff in the air. like crazy metallic stuff. makes lots of acid rain. it also made my cough worse.

at least the smog makes the pix look cool

i talked with a family at church and they said they only let their kids play outside about once a week. with a mask

awwww

i could live in shanghai but i don't think i could live in beijing. it's dirtier, polluted, and not westernized

i was expecting everyone to be wearing face masks like in taiwan. but they don’t.

i figured it out that the taiwanese are just hypocondriacs. they love to wear the face masks when they’re sick and they go to the doctor for every little thing. they have health clinics everywhere

i should have invested in a lonely planet travel guide. would have made life a whole lot easier. i gotta stop being such a cheap-skate!

i figured there would be plenty of things of english, seeing that it’s the language of tourism and most things international.

mmmmm

but hardly anyone speaks english, not even at the central tourist locations! ive never been to a place like that before.

byu beijing!

so it forced me to speak some chinese, which i don’t like cuz i sound like a gringo AND IT’S NEVER OK TO SOUND LIKE A GRINGO

i met some really cool people at the hostel. hung out with a group from the US, Germany, and ANTARCTICA! really, they live in antarctica!

tibetan-styled palace

i think it’d be really fun to run a hostel. they’re great (unless there’s non-westernized chinese people. they wake up early and make banging and crinkling noises as loud as they possibly can grrrrrrr you don't want to see me what i'm like when somebody disturbs my slumber!) anyway i love the vibe at hostels

Suzhou Street

monday i went to the national museum. i hate museums but mao mao was closed. however, the exhibit on gifts to chinese diplomates from other diplomats was cool.

national museum

the middle-eastern gifts were the prettiest. muslims win my prize for world's prettiest decor

tuesday i went to see mao zedong (third attempt.) i was so mad at all of china that morning! people in the long line were soooo pushy. they were all up in my grill and they STANKY

presenting lil' mao mao: everyone's favorite lil mass murderer

that maosoleum had a really eerie feeling. it was very communist-looking. mao was in a dark room in a crystal coffin (like sleeping beauty how adorable) and there were fake flowers all around. creepy!

his body's in this building

a lady said that her husband was the greatest man in china, perhaps since mao zedong. crazy thought- it's 2014 these people really don't know history! there's no way for them to learn cuz the government forbids it

Then I went to the Forbidden City. that was impressive. huge

everything in china is BIG! you think youre going to visit a place for a half hour. then it take 3 hours.

i guess that’s the way it has to be to accommodate 1.3 billion people.

olympic square

they went all out for the beijing 2008 olympics. the olympic park and buildings take up a huge chunk of the city center.

i was expecting to see a couple buildings but there was an entirely new section of the city and a big park. ( btw that 2008 opening ceremony was the best. nobody out shows the chinese! )

there are so many chinese tourists! as the country becomes richer, the people outside of the cities can afford to vacation now. bad news for western tourists cuz they are a pain!

awesome lampposts, olympic broadcasters tower

im getting better at walking right into people if they’re in my way. it was hard for me to do at first seeing that i don't even push when i play basketball! i also push away the salespeople if they get too close

im sick of spitting, farting, nose picking, and snot rockets. i think it's a national past-time, after tone-deaf karaoke singing

people here are amazing squatters. they can squat and eat a meal or make a phone call. they get all that practice from the toilet. i just don't go to the bathroom.

i went to the great wall using public transportation. people here are so sneaky. they put up fake bus stop signs and dress up as public transit workers and try to trick you into going with them.